Incubus.


 Incubus
  
 Life of constant bad thoughts
 crawling around my mind
 waiting to accommodate 
 my loss of control 
 why I fear my sleep time
 that is never inhabited 
 with good dreams
 only a constant 
 nightmare reality.
  
 Struggling to stay awake
 always losing the battle
 despite the pills.
 I try to grip reality.
 Failure, 
 drifting away
 into deep slumber
 of mystical shrouds 
 swirling in the creeping
 envelopment of darkness. 
  
 The demon surfaces
 revisiting my body.
 Dark red eyes piercing,
 cauterising mind control
 as he takes my soul
 on his nightly inhabitation,
 of pleasure, that I only know
 in this orgiastic world
 controlled by the Incubi.
  
 © Carol Robson 

I Love You Marvin.


For fans of Douglas Adams

I Love You Marvin

Time for me time

no longer giving to your time

I’m drained of energy

sort yourselves out

find somebody else to ask

there is always another mug

willing to listen

wishing you, would shut the fuck up.

My brain has gone to mush

years and years of listening

blah blah blah blah

same old stories repeated

get a fucking grip

you are the genius

the genius that can sort it

get a life, move on.

OMG I’ve turned into my hero

my morose, paranoid hero

you make me laugh, and cry

like you; ‘I didn’t ask to be made’

but at least I do have friends

your only friend was the rat

 he died in the cavity of your left ankle

I love your eternal brilliance

I love you for just being you

my Marvin the Paranoid Android

© Carol Robson

An Undying Love


An Undying Love

Lonely days spent wondering what my future life held,

I was comfortable with most aspects of my life – yet my darling you left a void.  Living alone this last year, alone, grieving for my long time love and partner – finding it hard to come to terms with heartbreak and loneliness, day to day feelings, so entrenched in these days and months since your sudden death.

Never ever giving any thought about moving on – how could I ever do this to my first and only true love, my true soul mate.  I still feel your presence in every room – a soft light touch seems to brush my neck letting me know you are still with me.

These long days and months of heartache slowly passing by – a long time before I had the courage to remove the pillowcase that last caressed your head and your beautiful red hair – for, when I laid next to it you were still with me my darling – now it is laid away with your favourite clothes which still hold memories of our precious time together.

Friends rallied round during my darkest days – with love that only true friends give.  As those dark days’ lessened, our true friends are still with me – friends seeing how  my grief was consuming me – thinking it was time for me to move on – yet, really my love they did not understand my grief – my love had been torn from the sinew of my inner being.

Knowing you would want this – I will try to move forward my darling – slowly I will my love – minute by minute – hour by hour – day by day – thinking of you – knowing that you would want me to embrace all love – yet my darling I know that no one will ever replace you in my heart – my life will go on – never forgetting you my darling – my best friend – my only true love – my undying love for you – my soul mate.

© Carol Robson

Unbroken.


For all those in love:

Unbroken

True love triumphs

above all foolishness

love is much more than decreeing

the genders

of who has madness to love

or to lie with their chosen partner.

Human love desires, affairs of the heart

as it races without defibrillation

lovers chests bursting extreme love

bodies, brains tingled in exaltation

knowing their own true love way

as the blood rush electrifies synapses

in loving hearts and minds

never to be broken

in their eternal journey of love.

©Carol Robson

Virus (my self-isolation)


Virus

Pandemic of a human kind

global rush of Covid 19

worldwide death never designed

yet causing the lockdown scene.

Older and vulnerable were mostly thought to be at risk

children, then any age were taken

underlying health problems, the healthy too

no discrimination, it could be you.

Panic buying soon became the norm

empty shelves, no toilet rolls no tins of food

shops emptied by the covid swarm

normal folk now in a frenzied mood,

Self isolation social distancing lockdown

key workers frontline staff NHS Docs and nurses

the ones allowed to move around

NHS staff in their PPE, nursing the dying

trying to save lives in trying times

BBC giving us daily updates of soaring numbers

all over the world not just at home

this is real news not fake

let’s stay safe do not roam,

When it’s over we can party like it’s 1999

down the pub to celebrate with family and friends, reunited with love ones

street parties whatever you want

rebook your holidays, start to live again without fear

me, I’ll just hug my daughters and grandchildren too

©Carol Robson

Oct 2015 ‘A Reflection’


Van Gogh Museum performance of the intergenerational words piece The Open Sky with Robyn Haddon and Rory Pilgrim October 2015.

“A Reflection.
The Open Sky is about words and what they mean for different people.
It’s about intergenerational words,

I bring words with me from childhood.
Family words that have stayed with me.
Sometimes these words have got blurred through the years.

There are words I want to term as family words.
There are also words I want to term as friendship words.
Sometimes the words in friendship can mean more to some people than family words because for some, their friends are also their family who they share their lives with.

There’s a four letter word, which is really important – just a four letter word – LOVE.
Carol Robson.