I Love You Marvin.


For fans of Douglas Adams

I Love You Marvin

Time for me time

no longer giving to your time

I’m drained of energy

sort yourselves out

find somebody else to ask

there is always another mug

willing to listen

wishing you, would shut the fuck up.

My brain has gone to mush

years and years of listening

blah blah blah blah

same old stories repeated

get a fucking grip

you are the genius

the genius that can sort it

get a life, move on.

OMG I’ve turned into my hero

my morose, paranoid hero

you make me laugh, and cry

like you; ‘I didn’t ask to be made’

but at least I do have friends

your only friend was the rat

 he died in the cavity of your left ankle

I love your eternal brilliance

I love you for just being you

my Marvin the Paranoid Android

© Carol Robson

Paranoid Party Poet intro and Hometown


This is one of my usual starts to a performance as the Paranoid Party Poet. Hometown was written 3 years ago after a visit on a May Saturday night.
©Carol Robson

©Carol Robson

My Valentine Bad Luck by Carol Robson.


(This is a revised version of a poem I wrote a few years back for an anti-valentine poetry slam)

My Valentine Bad Luck

Valentine’s day,
just another Hallmark day,
commercial hype to pluck your pockets.
Chaucers fault, with his love birds,
verse after verse cards
finger down throat words.

I’ve loved and lost all year round
Valentine’s day
doesn’t make it anymore special
A lover can fuck it up, on any day,
it happens to us all, straight or gay.

Valentine gifts arrive in different ways
Yet! Do they really know you?
Sometimes so clueless,
with chocs or other delicacies.
I’m on a bloody diet,
or they set off, my fucking allergies.

Then the one, who always buys flowers,
every significant date, a dozen of the best
Time to tell them, you really hate the rose,
especially if they get on one knee,
about to propose.

Once I received the perfect Valentine gift,
I thought.
Perfect gift, the most beautiful rabbit
Valentine bad luck, was to continue,
the rabbit died, went out like a light.
Suddenly realised, batteries included,
were really Shite.

If like me you’re on your own,
do spare a thought,
for those in love
For you still have choice and freewill.
Just grow old disgracefully,
before it all goes, downhill.
© Carol Robson 2015

I Love You Marvin.


I wrote this during my melancholy period which if I remember right was one August Saturday night after a few drinks around midnight.

I Love You Marvin

Time for me time
no longer giving to your time
I’m drained of energy
sort yourselves out
find somebody else to ask
there is always another mug
willing to listen
wishing you, would shut the fuck up.

My brain has gone to mush
years and years of listening
blah blah blah blah
same old stories repeated
get a fucking grip
you are the genius
the genius that can sort it
get a life, move on.

OMG I’ve turned into my hero
my morose, paranoid hero
you make me laugh, and cry
like you; ‘I didn’t ask to be made’
but at least I do have friends
your only friend was the rat
and he died in the cavity of your left ankle
I love your eternal brilliance
I love you for just being you
my Marvin the Paranoid Android

© Carol Robson 2012